"Yep. We're expecting a new grandchild and the mother has requested that there only be three other people in the room when this happens and that everyone waits until she gives the ok for people to come back."
"David, brother, you know I have all kinds of pretty tools you two can play with for torture." He looked over at Skyler. "Wanna take a stroll through my
Skyler gave Morbus a blank, emotionless face as he contemplated the invitation. "May be. Then again, maybe no. Might be dangerous if I did."
Kaylian, who had been helping Brie in the kitchen with dinner for that night came out. If he won't I might take a peek. I heard a little about you during the Occupation and what rumors I heard said you were quite crazy. I want to see just how true the rumors were."
Skyler looked at his wife with a bewildered smile. "Well now, it's been a while since you've decided to join the fun.
"Hey now, I only seem meek. If I were truly meek, I never would have married you because I never would have handled your rare streaks of sudden insanity."
Skyler smiled and kissed Kaylian's cheek. "Yeah, but you know that my sudden streaks of insanity were my way of surviving and coping with all the shit of the Occupation. Nowadays, I only seem to express it when I'm around my fellow
Jona came waddling down the stairs with Jeremiah behind her. "If you two are going to go look at Morbus'
"Hey, if you all want to come take a stroll through my
"Dude, so that's what you did with all of that money Brie and I paid you and Kayrn for the surrogacy? You collected implements of torture?" David asked with a chuckle.
Morbus nodded. "But, most of the stuff I had out there were things that Matt supplied me with. I still have the RPG's I didn't use during the Rally Tour."
David laughed and shook his head. "Why the hell am I not surprised?"
Skyler let out a belly laugh at the mention of the Rally tour. "Oh, I remember the rally tour. You guys had to cut it short because of David's 'Never Again' speech. Damn, I didn't know you had RPG's ready to go for that. You know, man, if you're willing to show us all of your gadgets, then who am I to turn down this once in a lifetime opportunity?"
Kaylian laughed. "Figures you'd say that."
"I don't know whether to be excited or scared.", Jona said.
Skyler chuckled and said, "It depends on how you look at it , honey."
Morbus stood from the perch he'd taken up on the arm of one of the chairs. "Oh, yeah. I had RPG's because of a certain Marine Corps. Master Gunnery Sergeant that like to kill things and watch shit go boom. There was an Utopian attachment that was blown to shit during that tour... and I did it. I pulled the trigger on that launcher and watched the truck go up
Jona pointed into the air. "Alrighty then. Everybody follow the zany bastard", she said with a straight face. Kaylian just laughed and Skyler thought, She took the words right out of my mouth.
---------------
"Zany bastard", David mused aloud to no one in particular as they walked out to Morbus' shed. "I've heard him called a heartless freak; I've heard him called a soulless monster, but never a zany bastard" He walked around the shed after he opened the door and just looked around. "You know, Morbus, I've always been curious as to what you kept out here."
Morbus gently, almost lovingly, caressed the top of one of the RPG crates. "My toys, that's all." He then grabbed a black case and opened it for David. "Here are my stun guns, David. You want these to torment your kids with?"
"I'll leave that to Skyler. My son may be the father, but his daughter is the mother and the father of the bride always knows best as far as I can tell.", he said. Skyler was distracted. He was too busy marveling at Morbus' toys.
Morbus looked at Skyler. "What do you say, Skyler? Stun guns for torturing the nosy Draiman kids?"
When Skyler finally realized that he was being spoken to he had to clear his head of the cobwebs. "Hmm? Stun guns? We can start out with stun guns." He paused briefly. "You know, since I see you have everything under the sun in this place I've gotta ask; you wouldn't happen to have anything with teeth on it in case we have to take it to the next level, would you?"
Morbus went digging through a rather dark corner of the shed looking for something. He knew he had what Skyler was looking for. "Let me see if I can find them."
"Teeth? Define 'teeth", Jona said.
"Well, something along the lines of a bear trap. Though, knowing that this is Morbus we're talking about, he probably has something a little more modern."
"Whoa Daddy. How sadistic do you want to get? I don't want to kill any of 'Miah's siblings for not listening!"
"You know we wouldn't kill them... just threaten them really well."
Kaylian chimed in. "And honey, if you're anything like me, if the Draiman kids don't respect your wishes you'll be so pissed that you will WANT them dead... possibly even see to it yourself that they die where they stand."
All Jona did was blush hard. Skyler looked at Morbus. "Have you found those traps yet?"
---------------
After dinner and the gift exchange, Brie took her husband aside. "Are you and Skyler serious about stun guns and coyote traps when Jona throws that Colt? Because if you are, I'm putting a stop to it now, David."
"Throw that colt? That sounds like another analogy from the south. What does it mean?" he asked.
"When she has the baby. When a pregnant mare has a baby it's called 'throwing the colt'."
"And the sex of the baby horse isn't considered?"
"Not usually. It's not often that horses get ultrasounds, if you know what I mean."
"Yeah, I know what you mean. No, we're not serious about the traps. The stun guns, however, are still up in the air. It depends on how bratty our girls want to be that day because they don't get to be involved."
She sighed. "I hate to admit it, but you're right about our girls and how bratty they can be. Can you and Skyler do me a huge favor though?"
"Sure baby. What do you need?"
"Stun guns as a last resort. If they're married or in a relationship, let the significant other take care if it before you get drastic and taze them."
"The main reason we went looking through Morbus'
"How about the threat of Morbus?"
"That won't fly with our kids, Brie. You and I both know this."
She sighed. "Have I ever told you that I hate it when you're right?"
"On several occasions. You've also told me that saying that I'm right is like eating glass."
"This time it was like drinking turpentine."
"Damn. You make it seem like saying that I'm right is going to kill you."
She laughed. "No, I'm just letting you know that I don't like to be wrong."
"I know you don't. Neither of us does. There are times when you're right and I feel the exact same way." He reached up and brushed his fingertips down her cheek. "But, I love you whether I'm right or wrong."
She laid a hand against his rough cheek and rubbed her thumb across his cheek bone. "And I love you too, whether I'm right or wrong. I love you no matter what."
"Then you should know I'm not going to hurt our kids."
She smiled softly. "I do know that. I was just making sure because you can be rather sadistic yourself if you have to be."
"Then let's hope that Skyler and I don't have to be sadistic with our kids."
"Or our grandkids."
---------------
"I think I need to have a chat with my little brother about how much he eats", Jeremiah said to Jona that night as the readied for bed.
"Why do you say that?"
"You've seen how much that boy eats. He eats like he's feeding three or four rather than just himself and pays no regard to the fact that there really is someone in the house eating for more than just themselves."
"Yeah. I've seen him eat. I'm surprised that the boy hasn't put on any weight."
"He's far too active to allow himself to get fat. And, if you haven't noticed, he's a bit of a man whore."
"Like you, Jake, James, Malachai, and your father?"
'Miah laughed. "Yeah, pretty much, but he's far worse than I could have ever dreamed of being. He's worse than Dad was when
"I find that hard to believe. I've seen some of the concert footage from the first five years of
"The my uncles all started to settle down and have kids, and he got baby fever because he was pushing 40."
"How old was your dad when you were born?"
Jeremiah had to do the math in his head to figure it out. "He was 43 when James, Makayla, Meagan, and I were born."
"Geez, he waited rather late in life. If he was 43 when you and the other three were born, that means he was 37 when Jake and Jordan were born."
"I believe he was about to turn 38."
"Wow, and all of you that are married with kids made him a grandpa before you all turned 30. That's insane."
"Oh, I'm sure he feels the same way. But, then again, he was a grandfather before he was good and into his 50's. Mom was 48, Dad was 51."
"And now he's pushing 70 and he's about to retire."
"Which is crazy for all of us kids. I don't think that any of us ever thought that Dad would retire."
"I don't think any of the fans ever thought that
"I'm sure they are too, baby."
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